Mon. Apr 11, 2016

What happens when you take the coolest, toughest and most talented ladies from the Sea to Sky Corridor’s top roller derby teams and put them together? You get the Apex Pistols, a stunning amalgamation of roller derby good-ness. What happens when you pit them against another top roller derby team? You get an epic bout.

For the 4th year in a row, the local ladies have taken home the golden roller skate with their win at the World Ski and Snowboard Festival. The Apex Pistols, a team of hand-picked veterans from Whistler’s Black Diamond Betties and Squamish’s Sea To Sky Sirens, took on Comox’s Brick House Betties, who did not go down gently.

The bout kicked off on the right note with a couple special performances. Local musician Creekside Phil performed Oh Canada on his guitar, and we were also treated to a visual presentation of photographer Sean St. Denis’ gritty and real images of roller derby life.

The teams hit the rink in fine fashion, some sporting unusual make-up and hair fitting to the theme of ‘Splatterday Night Fever’. Right out of the gates the Pistols started racking up points after several highly successful jams, leaving us wanting more at half time with a score of 110 to 46 against the Betties.
The half time show did not disappoint. With fantastic prizes at stake, people laid on the floor on skateboards and tried to collect as many balls in their laundry basket as possible in a real-life version of the 80s board game ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos’. A 50/50 prize winner took home almost $500 in cash, and funds were raised for the roller derby teams.

For the second period the Brick House Betties came back with a vengeance. Jam after jam they caught up to the Apex Pistols, causing the coaches to sweat. We saw some hard hits and some groovy spills, but at the end of it all, the Apex Pistols kept their lead, with the final score of 168 to 139 against the Betties. MVB’s (Most Valuable Booty) for the game were Mala Justed from the Pistols and Jack Widow from the Betties, both of whom impressed with their agility on the rink and their talent for collecting points as lead jammers.

After seeing roller derby for the first time, I gotta say I’m more than impressed. If I wasn’t like Bambi on ice when I put on a pair of skates I’d totally be trying out for ‘Fresh Meat’. If you are interested in roller derby, you can try out at the public skate, Saturday June 4th at Meadow Park Sports Centre in Whistler.